god is good

i just have to say that god is good.

and i mean really good.

because despite the difficult season that am coming out of i see his glory rain over me. despite my questioning, despite my saddened heart and soul that spent many days in a season that i only ever imagined to be the most beautiful weeping and feeling alone more than ever. despite the frustrations and chaos. he came to show me that whatever we are experiencing is only a part of what is really happening.

i’ll explain this a little bit better by taking it back to January 14, 2022. this was the day we had found out we were not approved for a home loan after finding a condo mark and myself could envision living in. we were crushed but knew that it had to be all apart of a greater plan. we focused on the tasks we need to do; mark paying off his school loan and myself building credit by getting a credit card. for awhile we forgot all about looking as it wasn’t a priority at the time. as time went on we would occasionally check what was available and while a couple places popped up that seemed okay nothing seemed to feel right.

until today.

april 12, 2023.

today was the day that i looked at an apartment and while mark wasn’t here to view it with me i was able to send him photos of a space that right so right. even before we saw though i already had a good feeling about it . i could say i don’t know how this all happened but i truly believe that it felt so right because it was heaven sent. it was all apart of the plan. you see that other home was never meant for us and i feel god didn’t even what us to see if because he knew we would like it and be even more devastated when we did not get the loan or that there was something wrong with the place, the neighboring area, the energy. it could have been a lot of things and those things also were likely to lead us on a different place without the opportunity to get this new and better place. Mark 4:20 reads “and those are the ones on whom seed was sown on the good soil; and they hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold.” meaning those who believe in him and the gospel will live a fruitful life; one richer than they could have imagined. where we perfect in our struggles? no, we were upset but we still believed, we still had faith and in doing so we bore fruit.

do not simply believe me on my feeling because that isn’t the only reason god played his part in it all.

when i sent the application i knew i had to stand out amongst the crowd and so i added an extra page about us and our relationship so they could get to know us a little better. i said those exact words to both my fiancé and mom. “i want our application to stand out.” today as we were there scooping our our potential new home the renter informed us that she was glad we added the extra page because she felt it, “made us stand out.” you could say that it was a coincidence but i see his plan and faithfulness to me in that. i never have added an extra portion like that to an application, but i felt so strongly to add it that night I was working on the application.

if that all isn’t enough to get you believing the timing couldn’t have been more perfect the move in day is May 1st which would make for a get transition before leaving for our wedding as it would give a good amount of time to move in thus allowing us with a beautiful place of our own to come back to.

it still amazes me everyday what he does for us. he is truly so good. & if this is a season you are struggling with remember that this part of your life is only a small portion of the greater plan that he has set for you. be patient in the waiting and stedfast in your faith.

“therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. let nothing move you. always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that you're labor in the Lord is not in vain.” - 1 corinthians 15:58

meet me at the intersection

i had an interesting conversation the other day with a coworker. a conversation in which my bachelor’s degree as well as my ideal plans for the future came up. the individual appeared confused. why would i go to college for psychology just to dream of taking photos around the world? just to envision starting up a clothing brand? and i get it, if we were to look at it from a typical stand point it just doesn’t make sense. why not study photography or business? why not skip paying for college and just jump right into it? to which those are all fair questions, but to those that ask, i have a question for you; why not do it differently? why not study something else that intrigues my soul and mind? why consolidate the things that interest me? why limit my path?

i guess you could say i have always been a dreamer, someone open to a different path than the typical one society tells us is the way to success. i believe that there are multiple ways in which we can achieve our goals (see blog this one’s for me for more on this topic) and multiple ways in which we can be successful. even stepping into collage i knew that a regular 9-5 desk job would never be for me. it’s why i work with children and as hard as the job can be working with kids is the best because there really is so much to learn from them; so much that we as adults should relearn to value. kids are so free and full of life. they imagine and dream and even though some things are wildly outlandish like becoming an octopus when they grow up you would be surprised that a lot of the things we find to be “out there” are a lot more possible than we believe and give credit for. they also understand that coloring outside the lines (figuratively speaking) is perfectly okay and honestly necessary at times. the youth are just so creative and simply being around that kind of energy i believe can help retouch that same childlike energy in our souls. i would like to believe that being in their presence has helped me keep my mind open to an uncommon career path.

people have told me that i need to be more realistic, but i am confident in my path. i know i will get there when it is my time. best part about your path is that nobody needs to understand it but you and honestly there will be times when even you don’t understand the path you are on simply because it is so much bigger than you, than i, than us. the bigger picture though is that one day the things we do will all meet at a point and in that moment it will all make sense. it will all come full circle.

there is still so many pieces that i don’t see how they fit into the grander picture,

the loneliness of lost friends

the physical pain of menstrual cycles that make me struggle to find comfort, consistency, and living life to its fullest

the confusion and frustration that pairs with anxiety

there are so many pieces that push me to tears because of the unknowns and yet i know at the same time it will all make sense - the confusion will not last forever because it is only part of the story; only part of my story. i have lived many other situation that didn’t make sense and my heart ached for answers. with time only then was my soul was ready to hear those connections and see their importance in my story. i remember losing a friend whom i had shared so much of myself with- my dreams, and passions, the things i didn’t like, the things i loved, the memories we made and just like that our paths no longer meet. it was earth shattering and sad. fast forward to years later and i see just how much a blessing it was because through that person i was able to meet one of my closest friends and others who support me. i opened my heart to fall more in love with myself. i took myself on dates and let my soul meet god in deeper ways. i also struggled with another friend who later god brought back into my life and y’all he is my now fiancé. like what is meant for you with always find a way to you.

i think my co-worker’s comment would have hurt the previous version of myself more and don’t get me wrong there are many times i feel the weight of the unknown but i think there as always been apart of me that knows that:

somewhere down the road the lines will meet at the intersection and it will all make sense.

the built and lost friendships, the heartache, the late nights, the adventures, the course, the people, the places, the struggles, the smiles. ALL of it. all of it built me into the person i am today and the person who i am becoming. i love her even though i don’t say it as much as i should. i love her and am so proud of her.

i guess when to sum up what i am trying to say is that our paths are purposeful even when they simply just do not seem to add up. hold on to the fact that one day it will all make sense - somewhere down the line you will come to your interaction and in that moment you will see that things really were working together; that they were coming full circle. trust me i know it is hard and a big part of that is the fact that we only ever can see part of the picture. it isn’t clear, but together each piece makes the full picture just a bit more magnificent and beautiful.

“the Lord directs the steps of the godly. he delights in every detail of their lives. though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” - psalm 37:23-24

"it's cool to care"

i pulled up to the store with my list in mind; disposable camera, toothpaste, phone tripod, etc, etc. what i imagined would be a rather quick trip to the store with a slight chance of wandering a few extra aisles quickly changed. never did i imagine what happened between stepping out of my car and entering the store building.

having grabbed my purse and turned to make my way inside i noticed what appeared to be a man laying on the ground. thoughts racing all at the same time as being frozen, i neared. would this person need CPR? would i be put to the test? dear lord, i just hoped that everything was okay. when i got where the man lay, i asked if he was okay as well as if he needed me to call anyone. at the same time I was waiting for his response i scanned the parking lot. it was dark, around 7:30pm on a sunday. not another soul in sight. i had to make sure he was okay. to my surprise he told me he was fine - that he has seizures and by his response i could tell he must have experienced them multiple times. still i could not let myself just leave him alone. it just wouldn’t have sat right. i asked again if there was someone i could call and anything i could do to which he informed me that his wife had been in the store using the restroom. as i waited while he got up from the ground he said to me, “thank you for caring - most people don’t” and all i could think is how could people not? how could they walk past and not do anything. those words held so much power because in them you knew that there were times when people had simply passed by while he lost control of his body. how terrible that must feel. how isolating and alone to be in need and people just pass you by.

sadly though things like this happen far too much. it’s not always as physical or something so visible. far too often do we pass by. whether it’s mental health issues, friends struggling in unhealthy relationships both with individuals and substances, rude people, the list goes on because well, “it’s not our place or it’s not our problem” and while yes, that might be true in some instances it is our place to care because as Lonely Ghost put it best:

“it’s cool to care.”

it’s cool to check on people. it’s cool to look out for people’s best interest. it’s cool to surprise them with something they love or something that reminds you of them just because. it’s cool to love and do nice things for people (even if) you don’t know them.

my trip to the store was not what i expected but there was so much more to it and while i don’t feel like i did much anything, which i am so glad the situation didn’t call for more, i think just the small act of checking in meant a lot more to him than i will every be able to know for sure. i just know it would have meant a lot to me if roles were reversed and that was me on the ground of the parking lot during a cold fall night at 7:30pm.

“thank you for caring - most people don’t” is something that will stay with me and honestly i hope that sticks with you too. i hope it reminds you to be the person who cares. please do not be the person who does not.

"don't withhold good from someone who deserves it, when it is in your power to do so." - proverbs 3:27

(and friends we all deserve it) ~

faithful is he

i know god speaks to us all throughout our lives whether that be when we wake or while we make our breakfast or even in the things we see and people we meet, but i tend to really feel and hear him whenever i am traveling. maybe it is because when you are thousands of feet in the air you are given a different perspective. maybe it is the fact that i feel physically closer to him or maybe it is simply the fact that i “have” more time (i put have in quotations because really we all have the time, it’s just a matter of if we choose to make the time, but really that could be another conversation for another day). maybe it is a mixture of it all. either way i always seem to connect to a deeper sense of self and love when i am traveling and in that i know that he has placed this my heart.

so as i sit on the plane flying back home from wisdom teeth surgery i thought just how drawn i was to share my experience with the surgery and not because it was glamorous. actually, i wanted to share because it was not - even though wisdom teeth removal is a rather typical surgery that a lot of people undergo. for me the days leading up to it felt to be some the looongest and most stressful days i have yet experienced. it was frightening, anxiety provoking, and messy. from traveling, to the consultation, to the surgery, to flying home the next day it is safe to say that i have not got much sleep at all and yet within all of my struggles, i knew there was purpose in it. even through the worries, anxiousness, and nights lacking sleep there was always a part of me that knew he would make all things well. i didn’t always feel it but i knew it and then i saw it day after day in my devotionals because each day they spoke out to me in a way that i need.

one day my devotional shared Matthew 6:34, “so do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. each day has enough trouble of its own,” a verse that reminds us that our worrying will not change tomorrow but only take away from today. it’s a verse that calls us to focus our attention to the day at hand and appreciating it for what it is. this was days before i left but I could not stop thinking about surgery as it neared closer and closer. i needed to be reminded that i need not worry about what was to come (and this goes for everything that life throws your way - it’s important to slow down - to take it step by step).

then another day i was reminded that it was important that i felt what i was feeling, that it was okay to be feeling the a bit anxious going into surgery. i know it seems a bit contradicting from the previous devotional, but really its not and here is why. god doesn’t want us to be constantly fearful of what is to come. he wants us to trust in his diving plan but he also understands that we live in a broken world and are only human. feelings are SO powerful and i believe i needed to feel all that worry and stress because it helped signify gods glory and grace; that even when i wasn’t feeling strong in faith he remained faithful. he carried me through a difficult journey to face my fears and despite being informed that there were a couple different possibilities that could occur with the way my teeth were positioned everything went well.

the day before my surgery, during my consultation i was told that my top teeth were rather close to my sinuses which meant there was a chance a hole from my mouth to my sinuses could occur during the surgery. A HOLE. IN MY MOUTH. TO MY SINSUS. meaning that when i would drink things it could go up to my sinus. the other thing i was told was that my bottom teeth were pretty close to the nerve in my jaw. this left room for the possibility of nerve damage that would take 6-12 months to fully healing. 6 to 12 MONTHS! not days or weeks, but MONTHS. so of course i was stressed, that was far from what i every imagined. i didn’t even know that was possible, i mean it made sense that it could happen, but never before the consult did that cross my mind. after the appointment it was sure on my mind though. i didn’t try to directly think about it my body felt the fear of the unknown of what was to come. that and the fact that what ever happened i was supposed to travel home the next day... less than 24 hours after surgery.

i thank the lord that surgery went as well as it did. sure i felt pretty blah, weak, had a tight jaw, some soreness here and there, and i had to take nasty medicine, but there were no holes or nerve damage. here i am going on three weeks past surgery and i am back to eating like the champ i am lol no but for real it really wasn’t that bad. obviously after the fact it’s a whole lot easier to say it will all be okay, but i do believe that is more important to understand it is okay to feel stressed, anxious, worried, fearful, even doubtful because it doesn’t last forever and sometimes that is god using you as a vessel to showcase who he is. everything has a purpose and as much as there are times when we feel stuck there is always something beautiful that can be found within them. 

“when you pass through the waters, i will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” - isaiah 43:2

for his glory

it really has been a hot minute since i have posted but having spent nearly a whole year preaching about goals and getting in the right mindset i realized that it was time to take all i had shared into action. last year i set a goal of one blog post a week and while i did miss a couple weeks towards the end of the year (because well i am human and understand i am not perfect) i saw that when you set reasonable and achievable goals anything is possible. i love my blog and honestly sitting here typing it makes me miss it that much more. the end of 2020 though i knew it was time for change and so i took a leap of faith in sorts because i still had a vision. i still had a plan or at least part of one. i started with a broad idea of what i wanted - spending more time with my photography and from there i set a goal to shoot at least once (maybe 2) a month.

spoiler - it did not go as planned. so while i still have greatly put more time into my photography as well as invested more money into it whether that was in equipment or experience god spoke another project on my heart. i wish i could share it more in depth but trust me it will be good. with that said i haven’t quite been reaching my two shoots per month goal simply because there is not enough hours in the day with working full time, taking an online class (i’m finished now thank goodness!), and working on a new project! something had to give and that was photography because well trust me there is so much more than taking photos. there is prepping and planning, location scouting, and all of the media posts! especially with this algorithm that hinders those who aren’t constantly posting in order to stay on top you gotta be constantly making content! it’s a lot but i love it!

my point of all this though is that often times the things we plan are not the same things god has planned for us. that’s what happened for me. i thought this was the year that it would be just photography but god had other plans. he had perfectly set in my heart this vision from a young girl and after years of it just a thought in the back of my mind the light bulb went off and i came up with a lot of ideas that worked. i started looking into it and setting steps and then kind of just sent it. i knew god placed this in my heart for a reason. it had a purpose and even if it doesn’t end up working well at least i tried. i really have a good feeling with this one. ahh for the day to share it more with you, but for now here is your reminder to simply go with the flow. god has a plan and purpose for all that is in your path - don’t fight it, just let it be. when you do well that is when you will see the true glory that is in each and every moment he has beautiful and so effortlessly laid out for each of us. 

“trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” - Proverbs 3:5-6

i can, and i will

hello you beautiful people you. this post is well over due seeing that i ended up skipping the past two week’s, but life happens! and as sad as i was at that i did not get to it i realized that it was perfectly okay. it was only two posts and being present during the holiday season meant so much more to me. regardless, it’s a bittersweet feeling knowing that this is my last weekly blog. that’s right! you heard it, no more weekly blog posts and honestly i am pretty excited about it.

while it was fun as well as challenging and it helped me grow it is time to switch things up. what once was enjoyable came to the point that it felt like a job. i felt pressure to get it done, on time, and that each one needed to be absolutely the best writing piece i had done. then during these last few month as things always seem to get busier around the holiday it became something that seemed to be getting in the way of relaxing or hanging out not to mention ideas weren’t coming as easy as they had before. what should i write about? did i already talk about that? is this relatable? will people like what i have to say in this one? basically, it came to a point were it was not benefiting me in the ways i wanted it to. now do not get me wrong i love and adore my blog and am so blessed to have taken on such a challenge because with it came so much beauty, lessons, and growth - all i am saying is it is okay when it is time to move on to move on. this is by far good bye for my blog, but it does mean that posts will not be as frequent and consistent as they have been this year because although it is good to push yourself, it is important to still love what you are doing and i want genuine content not content that feels forced, which is what these past few weeks especially have felt. that means that next year what i share will be less focus on how often i post but more so about the passion within the post.

with that said, this upcoming year i plan on devoting more time to my passion for photography. i can not even begin to explain how long photography has been a love of mine and like any relationship i have definitely had my highs and lows with it, but one thing is sure no matter how long i have stepped away for various reasons it has always been one i come back to. i am beyond excited to see what is in store for my photography as well as some other projects i am working on will lead. after seeing just how much progress can be made when you set goals and achieving them through my blog this year i am sure that the new and attainable goals made this year will continue to set my feet on the path that he beautifully laid out for me.

“perhaps you were born for such a time as this” - esther 4:14

23 things i learned by 23

in honor of my birthday tomorrow i decided what better way to end my last night of being twenty-three than by sharing twenty-three things that i learned by twenty-three.

1. sometimes people change. that is okay. never stay bitter about it. continue to wish the best for them.

2. love whole heartedly - even when it is hard. the world could could always use more.

3. it is important to treat yourself. trust me, you deserve it.

4. life is too short to spend your time worrying about things. eat the cupcake. ask the tough questions.

5. there is no need to stress. everything always works out in the end. you have overcome obstacles, you will overcome these obstacles, and you are going to overcome more obstacles in the future.

6. life is crazy and beautiful. life is crazy beautiful.

7. not everyone will like or understand you. the important thing is that you like and understand yourself. do what makes you happy (as long as it is not harmful to you or your health).

8. if you want something go for it. only you are capable of achieving your goals.

9. you are not meant to have everything you want whether that be certain things, certain talents, or certain people. god has bigger and better plans for us. trust in him with all your heart.

10. the way you look at things is the way you will see them therefore it is important to have a positive mindset. focus on finding the good in every situation.

11. i am beautiful and worthy despite not having x, y, or z. how can you compare a sunrise to a sunset?

12. life moves with or without you - when the going gets tough as dory would say “just keep swimming.”

13. do not assume anything. everything is always an opinion so stay open minded, especially in confrontations.

14. materialistic items really do not mean anything. focus on spending quality time with those you love while you still can.

15. travel and enjoy life while you are young and able. there is a big beautiful world out there to explore. don’t hold back from seizing oppurtunities that come your way. you can learn from them.

16. you are important even when you don’t feel like it. you are so deeply and utterly loved.

17. it’s the little things in life that matter like good conversations and other ways people tell you i love you such as drive home safe/text me when you get home.

18. be patient. there is a time for everything.

19. love does not just come naturally. it also takes time and effort from both parties. if you love someone show them through their love languages.

20. don’t ever be too stuck on growing up. make sure your inner child never dies. have fun. act silly.

21. those who are meant to be in your life will always find a way back.

22. it is necessary to rest. make sure to find time and space each day to relax even if it is just 10-15 minutes.

23. you are more capable than you know. set goals and work to achieve them. your creativity, talents, and gifts are meant to been seen and shared.

invest in yourself

my boyfriend always describes buying things as an investment (and it literally can be anything). at first i thought he was silly saying this. how would he profit off buying a toaster? new clothes? or the new playstation? the more time i spent with this idea of investing in something though i realized just how wrong i was looking at it and how much i believe this idea can change our mindset.

as stated by the lovely, ever so trusting, dictionary.com invest can mean a couple of things. first and foremost to invest can be “to put money to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.” in this regard it would make sense why i would think that investing in certain items was rather silly. the majority of the items he mentioned wouldn’t provide a financial profit, but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t or couldn’t provide something else. to invest can also mean “to use, give, or devote for a purpose or to achieve something.” whether that means spending money, or investing time, talent, what have you towards something, profit could simply be less about making additional money and more about happiness, joy, and fulfillment. maybe a toaster won’t provide quite these things although i do like toast, but maybe the profit is simply that i won’t have to worry about buying another one for years to come. new clothes? profit in looking good and feeling good. new playstation? a hobby that bubs enjoys; a way to chill, hang with friends, and have some fun. i mention this all though because i have come to love this idea of investing and especially so when it comes to ourselves and our goals.

far too often we get caught up in social media:

“they have it all.”

“i wish i had that.”

“i could never.”

i get it. i have been there far too often - scrolling for endless hours wondering how they make everything look so perfect, thinking and reconsidering what i wrote for my blog because someone else wrote something seeming so perfectly and beautifully written that i thought why would people even read mine. or all of the times i saw someone else posting gorgeous shots from a recent photoshoot and i thought to myself wow why didn't i think of that or why don’t my photos look that stunning. it’s easy to compare and disregard our glory, but it leads to no where. our paths are so different from everyone else’s, even if our dreams are similar. how do you compare the sun and the moon? simple. you don’t. they are so unique. so why compare yourself to others when (and i know this is going to be cheesy), but when you both were born to shine. yes, i said it, but it is true. we all have a purpose and our goals are possible and achievable so stop comparing our step 3 to someone else’s step 23 and start investing in yourselves and in your dreams. it is time to leave comparison behind because all of the time we spend looking, wishing, wanting, we waste the time that could have been spending planning, doing, and accomplishing.

as i reread some old blog post i thought to myself man these are good like really good. even ones where in the blog post i mentioned not feeling it was good and i thought why? you are basically preaching at this point! but it’s easier to look at it later; weeks down the road after it has become less familiar and see it for what it really is. it makes me wish i wasn’t so hard on myself or that we (because i know i am not the only one who does this) wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves and our work.

invest you yourself.

invest in your dreams. invest in your goals. invest in your happiness.

because you are important and you deserve to be happy.

investing in yourself is truly a changing mindset because when you choose to invest in yourself you begin to see that everything you want in life is not as far as it may seem. further it provides you the space to pursue your passions and make moves. this year, 2020, i choose to invest in myself, at first without even really knowing it, by deciding to post weekly blogs. in doing so i increased my yearly website visits by 270% when compared to last year! that is absolutely insane! and it was all because i choose to invested in myself. i invested in my talents, my abilities, and my happiness in order to work towards achieving my dreams and goals. i still have a long way to go, but i know i am learning to believe more and more in myself and the talents that have been given to me.

thank you to my boyfriend for reminding me of this (even unintentionally) as well as always reminding me to pursue my hearts desires. i can not say thank you enough for the love and support you have given. this one is for you (seeing you felt i do not talk about you enough in my blog post lol ) but seriously though i am so blessed by you.

so how are you investing in yourself? your dreams? your goals? your happiness?

“and jesus said to him, “‘if you can! all things are possible for one who believes.” - matthew 9:23

love in action

i’ll be honest with you all - i completely forgot about posting tonight until about 6pm. so here i am last minute hoping by the grace of god i will be able to come up with something good.

anything good.

anything at all?

.

..

currently, it has been at least a half hour, maybe longer where i have been aimlessly trying to put words together and i have nothing to show for it. i typed some and back spaced more, but nothing seems to be working. 47 posts, and 48 if you count this one, that i have completed. that is a lot of writing, a lot of topics, no wonder why i am stumped. my mind, however, is happy for the long weekend and thinking about thanksgiving i think about giving thanks. a pretty typical thing to do this time of the year, but hear me out on this one! i promise there is more to it.

every thanksgiving we think and share what we are thankful for which i love don’t get me wrong, but that is the easy part. i am thankful for a lot, but how do i show my thanks? showing our thanks for something or someone is a lot harder and easily forgotten. being thankful and grateful are beautiful things, of course, but let us all try to take it one more step farther by putting our thankfulness into action.

this past sunday at mass our priest shared a story about three different people who witnessed a car accident during the homily. in the story a knight of columbus passes the accident and due to the icy road condition decides to pray instead. a father also drives by but on the other side of the road and noticing the heavy downpour decides to say a prayer. a third person, a teenager, drives by, stops, helps the person out of their car, gives them the jacket they were wearing to stay warm and dry, calls 911, and reassures them they will be okay until help comes.

similar to this past sunday’s mass where father discussed putting prayer into action, so is true when it comes to thankfulness. why? because we are called for more. called to not only be good, but to do good. called to take action and share in the love he brings. called to be his hands and feet. so while both thankfulness, gratitude, and prayer are beautiful and necessary things please do not forget to do something about it.

what are some ways you can put your thankfulness, gratitude, and prayer into action this week? Ponder this for a bit and then i encourage you to do at least one of them. happy thanksgiving you beautiful people you.

“then the king will say to those on his right, ‘come, you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. for i was hungry and you gave me something to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, i was a stranger and you invited me in, i needed clothes and you clothed me, i was sick and you looked after me, i was in prison and you came to visit me.” “then the righteous will answer him, ‘lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? when did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?” when did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’“the king will reply, ‘truly i tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’“then he will say to those on his left, ‘depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for i was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, i was a stranger and you did not invite me in, i needed clothes and you did not clothe me, i was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’“they also will answer, ‘lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “he will reply, ‘truly i tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ - matthew 25:34-45

white bamboo sheets

just as i have shared a couple other poems throughout the year this week i decided that it was time for another! partly because i have gotten to the point where all i want to do is snuggle up in bed as winter is here. well, not according to the calendar here, but in my book it is. the leaves on the trees have already fallen to the ground while the days are shorter and colder. oh and we can’t forget about the fact that last night was the first snowfall and although it wasn’t much in alaska terms it counts. the other part of why i decided a poem was the way to go was because it has been a long year and coming up with weekly posts is no easy task, but with seeing some recent poetry while scrolling through instagram i thought why not try to challenge myself and write a piece. so here it goes:

november 18, 2020

abruptly i wake to the ringing of my alarm that sits across the room waiting to be picked up and turned off, but for a few seconds i don’t move from my position, cocooned between my white bamboo sheets. it’s dark and oh how would i love to sleep even for a few minutes more. disrupted by the noise with the ring, ring, ring that bellows from the speaker sleep is but a memory.

i get up, walk over, turn the alarm off, then yank it from the charger and head back to bed. 5 more minutes. then 10. it’s so warm and peaceful here in my room, while outside turns from fall to winter. a thin layer of snow coats the ground, like powdered sugar on a donut. it’s so gentle. so inviting. oh how my inner child wants there to be more. enough to build snowman and sled and have snow days again.

yet, i still am reminded of the piercing chill that seeps into my bones the moment i step outside as i head to work. even so, i get up again, head to the window where i pull the blinds. still dark.

and so slowly heading to the bathroom. sleep still in my eyes as they adjust to the bright light

i think

oh winter

my friend or foe?

how beautiful and daunting you are

a.l

the art of showing up

hello you beautiful people you! welcome to week 46 - wow, it is crazy to think i’m on the home stretch of weekly posts! and what a year it has been. with covid, cancelled trips/plans, the election, and more it’s safe to say this year has not been what we thought it would be, but nonetheless i am still thankful for so much.

one thing i am especially thankful for is the fact i continued to show up. continued to show up for my blog, continued to show up for my online class and work, continued to show up for my book club, continued to show up for my loved ones, and even continued to show up for photography despite my hectic schedule. i showed up. day after day after day and there is so much power in just showing up that we tend to forget. why? because it’s easier to see all that we did not accomplish, because it is easy to be our biggest critic.

for the longest time i was always so hard on myself. if something i was working on did not turn out perfect it felt like a failure, but the only thing that i was failing at was seeing the accomplishments that were right before me. i focused on the wrong things and it took me a lot of time to see that. learning how to fully acknowledge, and completely embrace these successes is something i still work at and i think a lot of people feel the same way, whether it is in relation to their dreams and goals or being proud of the individual that their are. so last night when i came across a little blurb i wrote on my phone notes back in February 16, 2018 i remembered that the person i have become as well as working towards being is someone i am truly proud of, even when i don’t always see it.

February 16, 2018:

walked out to go grab some water and ended up receiving the most unexpected compliment.

and it’s pretty safe to say that it made my night. heck i couldn’t stop smiling.

but as you can tell by the photo i have grown pretty comfortable with how i look when i walk around our dorm (not that this is the particular go to although heck i wouldn’t be complaining if it was) however i really just have grown to “do me” and not worry what others think.

so as i was walking to the fountain to fill up a couple water bottles i notice a boy from campus who i sort of know, but not really come over to me and say, “you’re really pretty you know that?” i don’t know it just seemed so sweet and sincere. i was so shocked i barely knew what to say so i all i could mutter was a thank you because yes i am socially awkward and freeze and don’t think of the right thing to say until it’s too late lol

but anyway i just thought to myself wow despite not feeling particularly pretty myself other people see things so differently and while i try not to be too hard on myself i realized that i still am

because i am still pretty in my oversized sweatshirt, shorts, and comfy socks

so you see sometimes we don’t see the full picture. we don’t see the successes and the beautiful things that makes us the individuals we are, but just because we don’t see them doesn’t mean that they aren’t there. so right now in this moment i ask that you simply stop and think about those seemingly small accomplishments (when did you show up? what don’t you give yourself credit for?) and the things you love about yourself for even just a couple of minutes. jot them down (and share below in the comments if you feel comfortable).

maybe you refrained from yelling at a loved one when they were getting on your nerve or it could be as simply as you rotated the laundry. maybe you thought about how you have worked really hard at pursuing a hobby and your dedication has proven to be extremely helpful in your successes.

for me today; i showed up to work when i really just want a break and vacation, i showed up to working out when i kind of felt like saying no, i showed up to class when i wanted to just relax, and i showed up to my blog when i wasn’t inspired to write (which to be completely honest with you i am not feeling confident in). hold up! here i am being hard on myself when the whole point of this post has been to.. well, not be hard on yourself and to acknowledge showing up. funny how that worked out. i am here though. i showed up and i see how much i have grown even within just this year alone. i am proud of her. i am proud of me.

but showing up could also look likecomforting a family member with your presence or going to your friends dance recital. sometimes it is just about being there for someone. presence is power. that goes for both physically and mentally.

so maybe it might not be as successful as i hope, just has you might not be feeling as successful or accomplished has you hoped, but imagine if we simply did not show up at all. isn’t some progress is better than no progress? not sure about you, but i think so because even if we messed up and have to do it all over again we have learned something. knowledge is a beautiful gift. so please give yourself credit where credit is due and try to not be so darn hard on yourself! you are doing amazing!

i still love you

i usually stay away from political talk, but as the time nears by heart yearns to share some positivity. i want you to know that no matter who you choose, i still choose to love you…

if you vote for jorgensen, i still love you

if you vote for hawkins, i still love you

if you vote for biden, i still love you

if you vote for trump, i still love you

if you choose not to vote, i still love you

why?

because i understand that your vote does not define you. it is not an accurate representation of the soul that lies within in. it instead is a decision that you made; one of many and sometimes in life we make good decisions, while other times we do not. as humans we are not perfect and i do not expect you to be. 

why?

because i understand that you can not tell what the future holds. elections are not easy and honestly the pressure to pick the right candidate is a heavy thing to bear, but take ease in knowing that you don’t have to have it all figured out.

why?

because i understand that we see what we want to see. thing is none of us know how this is all going to go down, no matter how much you think you have it all figured out. you don’t. they don’t. i don’t. we are all simply doing the best we can with the information we have and we all perceive things differently.

so why you ask? why choose love?

matthew 5:43-47 reads:

“you have heard that it was said, ‘love your neighbor and hate your enemy. but i tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your father in heaven. he causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? are not even the tax collectors doing that? and if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? do not even pagans do that?”

god does not tell us to love only those who agree with us

he does not tell us to love only those who do what we want 

instead he calls on us to love our enemy

our enemy! 

god tells us to love those who are “actively opposed or hostile to someone or something” 

if that isn’t powerful

if that doesn’t speak volumes to you i am not sure what will

i do not have to agree with someone to love them

i do not have to receive love from someone to love them

i choose to love, simply because god chooses to love me; despite my imperfection, despite my flaws, despite my sins, who loves me even when i fail, correction who loves me especially when i fail and helps me to learn and grow from it, and most importantly who loves me despite my differences 

he chooses to love me, so i am choosing to love you

i hope you choose the same because this truly has been quite the year for everyone already. all of this negatively and arguing that both sides have been engaging in is not going to get us anywhere. if anything we need eachother now more than ever. we need love. 

so if you have made it this far. i love you and i just pray that no matter what happens we can choose love; being kind to one another, and hoping for the best from our next president whoever it will be.

5-3-1

hello you beautiful people you! i hope you are all having a wonderful day/evening (whenever you may be stopping on by to read this)! for this week’s post i want to go a little further into this idea of romanticizing your life because i truly believe it is how we not only live a life of happiness, but one that feels fulfilled. understandably it is not always easy to be in love with our lives, simply because our lives are not always what we want them to be. in order start to falling more in love with our life we have to start having a grateful heart. today i am going to share with you one way to having a more grateful heart in 3 easy steps.

this technic is called 5-3-1. let’s break it down.

first: after waking up spend 5 minutes meditating. i do (and love) the “simple meditation” on the app fiton. trying to meditate on your own can be tricky so doing a guided meditation makes it that much easier to focus on the moment. starting the day grounded helps you think more clearly and if you are like me and ever experience waking up stressed from knowing the activities that lie ahead then it is a great way to calm down, re-evaluate, and start fresh.

second: write out three gratefuls. these can either be in a journal, or shared on social media. taking time each morning to find at least three things that you are grateful for helps remind you all that is good which makes it easier to continue seeking the good throughout the rest of the day.

third: engage in one random act of kindness at some point throughout the day. this could be as simple as smiling at someone, holding the door open for a stranger, to writing and mailing a letter to an old friend, even making a donation for a good cause. really anything that can spread a little love, because the world could always use more.

unfortunately i can not take credit for helpful technic as i recently learned about it during a class i am taking online through a work endorsement (the class is behavioral health 101), but having started practicing the technic myself i felt it was just too good not to share.

i can not speak on this having a bunch of knowledge and experience with it seeing that i have only been practicing it for a little over a week now, but even so i have noticed a more grateful heart. not only am i more thankful of my life and the little things, but it too as also helped me feel calmer throughout my day. also how awesome is it that it is such an effective tool to use does not require much time? not to mention it is free which means no paying for special supplements, counseling, etc. (although these can be helpful for some depending on their circumstances). talk about a great way to start the day - through positivity and loving eyes.

lastly! if you do decide to try the 5-3-1 technic please let me know your experience with it. i would love to hear from you (:

romanticize your life

the other night as i laid in bed looking back on old photos i thought to myself,
“is this really my life?”
“have i actually done and accomplished all of this?”

creating a website. swimming in waterfalls. dancing the night away with friends. late night donut runs that were a lil bit sketchy, but more enjoyable than not. concerts. pumpkin patches. skipping class to hike mount rainer. laughing with friends until our bellies hurt and tears filled our eyes. attending and graduating college. traveling; near and far and europe! for a month! biking in berlin. gondala ride in venice. touring around on a vespa while it was raining in rome. dancing under the eiffel tower in paris. watching the sunset from the cutest rooftop in genova. swimming in the mediterranean sea in france during sunset. eating the best dinner in switzerland. ohhh and we can’t forget attending the most magical festivals ever (RISE). reuniting, traveling, and growing with the love of my life. and you know what? these things i listed, these are a small amount of the things i have done.

how cool is that?

and that is only partial of what i have done within the last few years. imagine the list of things within the past 23 (almost 24) years! or better yet imagine what else is to come in the next 20 some years!

my life feels like a movie and you know what yours is too! maybe not with the same plot, but that is the beauty with movies is they are not all the same.

i think it’s easy to get caught up in what other people are doing. it’s easy to say that they have it better than us. that we wish our lives could be more like theirs and especially when we are going about our day to day life, going about our 9-5 job, waiting until the day we can travel again (and especially with covid still a factor to worry about). what we forget to remember is that what we see and understand of people is that we only see a small portion of people whether that is their social media or in real life.

when you really sit with it and think about your life up until the point you realize that the good times exceed the times of struggle, pain, fear, and hopelessness by far. you also see that those difficult times help you appreciate the good times. i think with covid this has been something i have really had to grapple with. covid got in the way of a lot of plans, and it made me feel as if it was a year wasted. i wasn’t able to do what i wanted, but it was what i needed (not covid per say, but learning to find a greater sense of peace and appreciation for the life i am living and have already lived). i did not know it, but god knew it. the more i think about it though even with all the craziness this year has brought it still has been the best year. i choose to see the good it has brought instead of seeing all that it is not.

you have to start romantizing your life.

you have to start falling in love with yourself and the things that seem so routine and mundane. you have to fall in love with your life because you only get one and whatever may happen you deserve to feel happy and loved and valued. you were placed here for a purpose and with an intention. seriously i can not preach enough about this. y’all we have such a wonderful and glorious and gracious god. so maybe i’m not out adventuring like i want to right now or even within this year but my life has been like a movie and looking back on each of my experiences warms my heart.

you are the main character. this is your movie.

our first interview!

think about one thing in your life that means the world to you. something you love to pieces. if you thought of a person, i love that! truly i do, but for the purpose of this think about something you take pride in - it could be a hobby, item, or project. something that you have put time and effort in. okay, you have it? now stop thinking about it. switch gears and think about babies. they are fun, cute, at times messy (well actually quite often), and most importantly loved. I don’t have kids, but my blog, my blog is my baby and for you i hope whatever you thought of you think similarly of or at least can make the connection. like babies need taken care of so does my blog. for the past three years not only have i had pay attention and give it time, but what i noticed was that i was protective of it,,, nervous of change. see i was always protective, because my blog has my heart and soul in it! so when i thought about the idea of collaborating with someone else i was not sure if i should go for it or simply keep to my regular posts. what if i didn’t receive engagement or worse yet what if the new audience didn’t like what i had to share. would my baby be okay? and most importantly would i be okay with this change? but the idea wouldn’t go away. even after months of just sitting with it something in me believed that i should go for it. why? because there are so many voices in this world; people who have stories to be told and advice to give and i love the idea of creating and continuing to grow this little community we have here. and? and the fact is that even though as much as you want to protect your baby/ies, they won’t always be babies. babies grow unto children and children to teens and teens to adults and you know that really is not a bad thing. it’s growth and growth is beautiful. with growth comes new opportunities and maybe just maybe this new addition to my blog and website is another step in the process to reaching those others goals we discussed at the beginning of the year. so after i was sure this was the path for me the only thing holding me back was who? who would i collaborate with? especially seeing that this would be the first collaboration and first interview. it had to be special.

then like all good “and then it hit me” moments i came back across solescence, a brand i remember having loved from the moment i found out about the meaning behind it. after refreshing up on what made the brand i realized that this was who i wanted to interview first; Abby Advincula the founder of solescence - a brand that represents community and helping others out. full circle from my post completion who? i think so.

i introduce to you,,, Abby!

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..

tell us a bit about yourself.

My name is Abby Advincula. I grew up as a military kid and lived in Heidelberg, Germany before I moved to Washington state. I definitely believe my interest in fashion came from living out in Europe but my love for sneakers was basically a birthright thanks to my dad. My dad is also a sneaker enthusiast but not about the hype stuff. He just loves shoes that he likes, which I appreciate him for because I can say the same as well. Shoes have definitely been a big part of my life. From when my dad gifted me my first pair of sneakers, a connection between me and my high school sweetheart, to having my first manager job at companies like Foot Locker and Lady Footlocker. Now I have a brand (Solescence) that was inspired for my love of community and sneakers.

Where I find my true source of love and happiness is from the sole/soul, figuratively and literally. If you ever heard about me, the first thing to mind is always sneakers. I couldn’t be anymore proud of that. Something that I love that my dad passed on to me and now I want to create a community out of is one of the most heartwarming things I’ve done so far and it’s amazing to see how many people support my brand. I wouldn’t be here today without my community, I love everyone who has watched my journey, every step of the way.

how long have you had your brand?

Solescence has been up and running for 2 years. Our 3 year anniversary will be in November!

what is the meaning behind solescence? how did you come up with it?

Solescence is a combination of the words “sole” & “fluorescence”. I went through a lot of trial and error when it came to coming up with a name for my brand. I knew it had to feel right. 

Sole is defined as the undersurface of the foot. Each and everyone of us wake up everyday stepping into our lives striving for a goal, an achievement, a dream. Fluorescence is defined to emanate a glow or shine. Many of my dreams derive from sneakers. But Solescence is not a brand where you have to love sneakers to represent our movement. If you have a dream, a goal, a passion that motivates you that’s all there is to it. 

Solescence is about building community with others who are on a journey to putting their passions first and connecting those of us who have succeeded to making our dreams come true. One step at a time.

what has it been like building your brand? the process? the experience?

It’s been fun. Definitely hard, but I didn’t expect to be easy either. At first, I had no idea where to start. But then I had friends who had started a brand and guided me to the right direction. I went looking for a vendor who would print the first bulk of hoodies. From there, my first round of preorders for hoodies went from 12 to 24 then 40 and now growing more and more every order.

The experience is thrilling as well as heartwarming. Everytime I have someone place an order or ask about the brand, I light up and get excited to tell what the brand is about!

what has been the most challenging thing about having your own brand? 

The most challenging thing about having my own brand is having to do everything myself right now. I manage everything from social media, vendors, shipping and fulfillment, and founder of the brand. But it’s worth it. Being able to challenge myself to learn different skill sets in order for the brand to operate has been amazing.

what is the most rewarding thing about having your own brand?

The most rewarding thing about having my own brand is seeing it come to life but also seeing the brand being recognized around our community and now outside of the PNW. We have grown where we have representatives of the brand in different parts of the U.S. and it warms my heart to see the continuous support from my friends and family as well as people I have not met from social media as well!

what would you say to those who are wanting to start their own business, but are a bit hesitant to do so?

Do it. Don’t hesitate. Don’t wait. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep trying. Don’t give up. Brands change designs, typography, logos...it’s evolutionary. Constantly changing. What shouldn’t change is the reason why you wanted the brand to start in the first place. So go for it, don’t not do it just because you think people may not like it or understand. You’d be surprised by how many people will support and see your vision once it comes to life. As long as you are passionate about your brand, everyone else will see it and everything else will follow. Never forget why you started the brand and never forget where your heart was when you first thought of creating a brand.

It’s all heart at the end of the day.

what can we expect to see coming from solescence in the future? do you have any projects in the works?

Solescence has so much in store. It’s been a challenge with COVID-19 and other things around the world putting businesses to a halt. But we’re back on track and excited for everyone to see what’s to come. I have a couple of projects in the works and can’t wait for everyone to see them!

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so you beautiful people you if you are thinking about your goals; whether that is wanting to start pursuing them or trying a new route, go for it! trust your gut and when the going gets tough do not stop, keep trying!

busy little bee

this has been one of those weeks where everyday there is something that needs done. Monday: type blog, Tuesday: work on a video project, Wednesday: class on zoom! (i’ll talk more about that another time though) and post a blog, Thursday: book club and prep for my boyfriend’s birthday! (honestly i think i am more excited then he is) and Friday: his birthday! so many thing i feel like a busy bee!

it’s exciting! but also tiring trying to find balance amongst it all. currently, i am sitting at work trying to type the rest of this blog post because well that’s the time i have and i’m hoping to make the most of it. you might be thinking you're at work how are you typing but thankfully the fourth grader i work with in school is currently testing and doesn’t need my help thus why i am able to use this little bit of time to jot out my thoughts. it’s 10:16 and i’m already pooped thanks to aunt flow cramping my sleep schedule last night and this morning. all i can think about is how lovely my bed sounds. cuddled all up in the covers. ahhh what i would do for a nap right about now, especially knowing that once work is over well i get to quickly head home, hop in the shower, and be ready for my Zoom class. i thought the week was busy, but Wednesday, Wednesday is extra busy. again, why i am here trying to whip up this post while i have a small window to do so.

i guess sometimes that’s how it goes. you have to do what it takes to get things done. i used to always use the excuse of just not having enough time, but when you really want something the thing is you will make the time because we’ll it’s important to you! my blog - that is important to me! and having put so much time into it this whole year i will not. nope, I WILL NOT, stop now. not when i have made so much progress!

i encourage you to do the same. it’s easy to stop, give in, and give up. it requires no work, but it doesn’t help us in our goals and if i didn’t make the time to type up this blog during the time i do have well i would be sad that i didn’t do it. when i reach that point where i don’t want to do something i think about the long term. why am i doing what i am doing? are the things i am doing helping me to reach my goals? improve my health (physically and mentally)? bring me joy? or are they things i feel i need to do? things that other people expect me to do? if it’s not helping me and if doing it makes me stressed, anxious, sad then it’s not for me. this week i am busy but when i look at why i am busy it's because of things that i want. it’s a good kind of busy.

i love my blog. i love building on my knowledge to help me work better with my clients, family, friends and community. i love my boyfriend and getting to create things that show my love for him. i love the things i do and i also love that today has actually felt like a real fall day! cold, crisp, cloudy and colorful leaves compared to the usual dark, gloomy, and rainy days us Ketchikan folk often get.

so what have you been up to? how is your schedule? are you feeling overwhelmed? are you feeling you are missing something? wherever you might be, take time to re-evaluate your calendar. it’s okay to revamp it. sometimes it’s what is needed. you gotta do what you gotta do. it’s important to just be and do you.

let god

i love helping people; always have and always will. even from a young age i wanted to be helping out whether that meant vacuuming, dusting, doing the dishes or making sure my friends were happy. so when it comes to my relationships i love loud and hard. not only am i not afraid to say things that might be hard to hear, i check up on how you are doing - cheering you up and comforting you when you are sad/frustrated and yep! you got it i will always be your biggest supporter. most importantly though no matter what i will always have your best interest at heart because well that is what being a friend is about.

i truly love this trait about me, but as much as it is one of my greatest traits it is also one of the hardest traits to bear, because there are going to be a lot of people who don’t understand this type of relationship, people who have never experienced and/or are afraid of a love so deep. no love or amount of care is perfect. life is messy. we mess up, they mess up, things happen. relationships (friendships and romantic ones) take work and they are bound to have bumpy patches, but there really is not much that is worth losing people over.

unfortunately, there are plenty of people who don’t work enough at their relationships and as helpers we want to fix that. we don’t like the tension, we just want things well and happy.

thing is though us helpers can’t fix everything. as much as we might want to help sometimes it just isn’t always going to be possible. you know why? because it isn’t our job. sometimes it is, but if we try and nothing changes then it never was our job to begin with and that is where god comes in - because we aren’t always enough. we can only do so much and that is okay.

it’s time to stop watering dead plants, and just let god.

time to let god take control because he has greater power and better understanding of our paths. he has our paths beautifully laid out for each of us so much so there really is no reason to fret, but that is easier said than done eh? i agree. a couple years ago i had a really rough time with a few friends and i was deeply hurt by the situation, but i really focused in on my faith and just to pray to god that he could help me accept our different paths, that he would continue to watch over them, and if it was in his plan that we someday would meet again. it was so hard not talking to them, not checking in, because it felt i wasn’t caring enough about the people who i deeply cared for, and you know what soon after i was accepting of the new norm, those people reached out to me and now it is as if they had never left for that year… as i lay here in bed typing i feel a sudden sense of joy. god is beautiful in his plans and in no way do i want you to think all relationships that stray will end this way, because spoiler they all don't, but most importantly some do and it is really so amazing how life works out and things come full circle.

if you are like me and feel you are a helper. you love loud and hard. you try your hardest to keep relationships and are saddened when they don’t work out. know you are a blessing. people need you in their life whether for a season or forever. you are a rare being, you are special, and you are doing great. keep loving bold and remember that god is faithful and has it all under control.

competition who?

over the course of this year i have discussed a lot about goals; goals in general, my personal goals, as well as your goals, but how about our friends and other peoples goals?

well… those goals are just as important as ours.

so important that it is the topic of this weeks post and in doing so i just have to start by saying wow i have some incredibly talented friends and know some incredibly talented people who are constantly amazing me in all that they do. just yesterday morning i watched one of my friends post a video of him singing while another friend played the guitar. i was amazed! the soul. the talent. it was all there. i was ecstatic; kind of like the proud mom of the bunch, but it isn’t just for them. i can honestly say that it truly warms my heart seeing other people put their heart and soul into their passions and goals and dreams.

sadly though that isn’t always the mindset we take, even when we know we should. whether it is comparison or jealous or even a mixture of both they can get in the way of how we see one another and the way we respond to their successes. it happens and it is nothing to be ashamed of, especially if you don’t let those thoughts over power the way you respond.

your successes are and will never be minimized by someone else’s success simply because you are not them.

meaning that only you are your only competition. they have have their own house? they are working your dream job? they live somewhere with more to do? they have more friends? awesome, but guess what they are not you and they never will be you. therefore they aren’t a competition to you. you are already you they can’t take that away. so if you want to write a book, go for it. even if they did it, it’s not yours. it’s not your dream.

that isn’t the point though. the point is we should be cheering and supporting our friends and others because there is no competition to our goals and successes (other than ourselves that is). so hype each other up, spread love, and just be kind. nobody ever lost anything from being nice.

ways to support your friends:

• like, comment, and share their posts: all of these things are free and take seconds to minutes at most, but they say hey, i see you and support you. easy peasy lemon squeeze-y.

• give them encouraging words: again it’s free and it doesn't have to be much. recognizing you see their hard work, their growth, their passion, their skills/talents. maybe you were inspired by it to pursue your own goals or maybe you just think what they are doing is super awesome. tell them. your words are powerful and mean more than you realize.

• buy their product: if they are selling something whether it’s a physical product (ie. selling clothes or stickers) or their service (ie. yoga instructor, photographer, etc.) another way you can support your friends is by paying for whatever it is they sell and at full price.

• speak about their talents to other people: another way to support your friends is simply through word of mouth. the more people who know of their talents the greater amount of opportunities they get.

no rain, no rainbows

good evening you beautiful people you. how is it already week 38? both of the year and writing weekly blog posts?! it seems as if it wasn’t that long ago we were ringing in the new year and here we are with school starting back up, fall in air, and thanksgiving, and Christmas right around the corner. this year really has seemed to have gone by so quickly, and yet at the same time been also so long.

38 weeks.

38 weeks ago i realized i had a real challenge cut out for me. a blog a week would be no easy task as it wasn’t something i had ever done or had been close to doing. previous i was lucky if i posted once within the month on my website and there were plenty of months when i didn't share a single post. regardless, i took the challenge because it was something i wanted. i wanted to be more consistent and i knew that consistency would set me up for future goals. week one, easy. motivation was high, ideas were popping. week two, rather similar, but week three, oof. that was a different story and there were quite a few weeks like that too. i stuck to it though, and pushed through those nitty gritty not so fun, difficult times. now, here i am almost having completed 9 months worth of weekly blog posts!

easy? no. there were tears, headaches, long nights, tired days, and times when i wanted nothing more than to quit, to just throw in the towel on my goal. if i did though i wouldn’t be where i am at. i wouldn’t have made so much progress and learned so much.

which leads me back to life and what a mess of a year 2020 has felt to be. truly i have never struggled as much as i have these past few months with anxiety and overthinking, but like my journey of blog posts the difficult times do not by any means define the entirety of my year, and especially not my life.

no rain. no rainbows.

so simple, but sometimes so hard to remember, to believe, and to focus on. i get it. my mindset has not been the most positive, my faith lacking, not to mention my heart yearning for direction, and control. life is not easy and there is no manual for how to live it. honestly, it is sometimes really confusing as the path is often unclear, but here is your friendly reminder that the good really does outweigh the bad and it is up to us to focus our eyes on those positives.

i know i am working on it and praying about it. i hope you are too.

any who i hope this all made sense. it has been one of those weeks where i didn’t come up with a post ahead of time so i am typing away at 9:57 in my boyfriend’s room while he plays video games in the living room and honestly all i want to do is finish on up to spend some quality time with him. goodnight loves.

i am the sun

the other day, while listening to a podcast i got inspired to write this lil poem. the sun has always been something i have been drawn to. for warmth, for light, for positively. even sophomore year of college when friends where speaking of getting tattoos i thought to myself if i were to ever get one what would it be. wanting a meaning behind it i thought about a lil sun! what a perfect reminder of all things positive. i really wish i had the message i typed to my friends about the reasons why i would choose a sun, but the podcast brought me back to those days thinking of tattoos and why the sun is a great representation of all things good. she is beautiful.

i am the sun

who is your role model? they ask

which celebrity do you look up to?

but out of all the stars in and under the sky

it’s the sun who speaks to me

her warmth is comforting

her light is hers

truly nobody else shines as bright as she

for her light is the brightest of them all

she is hers

unique in nature

helping others grow beside her

a ball of energy

sustaining life for all

and no matter how down she gets she always comes back up

day after day

she is an essence of positivity

and it is her

her, i want to be like her.

a.l