good evening you beautiful people you. how is it already week 38? both of the year and writing weekly blog posts?! it seems as if it wasn’t that long ago we were ringing in the new year and here we are with school starting back up, fall in air, and thanksgiving, and Christmas right around the corner. this year really has seemed to have gone by so quickly, and yet at the same time been also so long.

38 weeks.

38 weeks ago i realized i had a real challenge cut out for me. a blog a week would be no easy task as it wasn’t something i had ever done or had been close to doing. previous i was lucky if i posted once within the month on my website and there were plenty of months when i didn't share a single post. regardless, i took the challenge because it was something i wanted. i wanted to be more consistent and i knew that consistency would set me up for future goals. week one, easy. motivation was high, ideas were popping. week two, rather similar, but week three, oof. that was a different story and there were quite a few weeks like that too. i stuck to it though, and pushed through those nitty gritty not so fun, difficult times. now, here i am almost having completed 9 months worth of weekly blog posts!

easy? no. there were tears, headaches, long nights, tired days, and times when i wanted nothing more than to quit, to just throw in the towel on my goal. if i did though i wouldn’t be where i am at. i wouldn’t have made so much progress and learned so much.

which leads me back to life and what a mess of a year 2020 has felt to be. truly i have never struggled as much as i have these past few months with anxiety and overthinking, but like my journey of blog posts the difficult times do not by any means define the entirety of my year, and especially not my life.

no rain. no rainbows.

so simple, but sometimes so hard to remember, to believe, and to focus on. i get it. my mindset has not been the most positive, my faith lacking, not to mention my heart yearning for direction, and control. life is not easy and there is no manual for how to live it. honestly, it is sometimes really confusing as the path is often unclear, but here is your friendly reminder that the good really does outweigh the bad and it is up to us to focus our eyes on those positives.

i know i am working on it and praying about it. i hope you are too.

any who i hope this all made sense. it has been one of those weeks where i didn’t come up with a post ahead of time so i am typing away at 9:57 in my boyfriend’s room while he plays video games in the living room and honestly all i want to do is finish on up to spend some quality time with him. goodnight loves.