invest in yourself

my boyfriend always describes buying things as an investment (and it literally can be anything). at first i thought he was silly saying this. how would he profit off buying a toaster? new clothes? or the new playstation? the more time i spent with this idea of investing in something though i realized just how wrong i was looking at it and how much i believe this idea can change our mindset.

as stated by the lovely, ever so trusting, dictionary.com invest can mean a couple of things. first and foremost to invest can be “to put money to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.” in this regard it would make sense why i would think that investing in certain items was rather silly. the majority of the items he mentioned wouldn’t provide a financial profit, but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t or couldn’t provide something else. to invest can also mean “to use, give, or devote for a purpose or to achieve something.” whether that means spending money, or investing time, talent, what have you towards something, profit could simply be less about making additional money and more about happiness, joy, and fulfillment. maybe a toaster won’t provide quite these things although i do like toast, but maybe the profit is simply that i won’t have to worry about buying another one for years to come. new clothes? profit in looking good and feeling good. new playstation? a hobby that bubs enjoys; a way to chill, hang with friends, and have some fun. i mention this all though because i have come to love this idea of investing and especially so when it comes to ourselves and our goals.

far too often we get caught up in social media:

“they have it all.”

“i wish i had that.”

“i could never.”

i get it. i have been there far too often - scrolling for endless hours wondering how they make everything look so perfect, thinking and reconsidering what i wrote for my blog because someone else wrote something seeming so perfectly and beautifully written that i thought why would people even read mine. or all of the times i saw someone else posting gorgeous shots from a recent photoshoot and i thought to myself wow why didn't i think of that or why don’t my photos look that stunning. it’s easy to compare and disregard our glory, but it leads to no where. our paths are so different from everyone else’s, even if our dreams are similar. how do you compare the sun and the moon? simple. you don’t. they are so unique. so why compare yourself to others when (and i know this is going to be cheesy), but when you both were born to shine. yes, i said it, but it is true. we all have a purpose and our goals are possible and achievable so stop comparing our step 3 to someone else’s step 23 and start investing in yourselves and in your dreams. it is time to leave comparison behind because all of the time we spend looking, wishing, wanting, we waste the time that could have been spending planning, doing, and accomplishing.

as i reread some old blog post i thought to myself man these are good like really good. even ones where in the blog post i mentioned not feeling it was good and i thought why? you are basically preaching at this point! but it’s easier to look at it later; weeks down the road after it has become less familiar and see it for what it really is. it makes me wish i wasn’t so hard on myself or that we (because i know i am not the only one who does this) wouldn’t be so hard on ourselves and our work.

invest you yourself.

invest in your dreams. invest in your goals. invest in your happiness.

because you are important and you deserve to be happy.

investing in yourself is truly a changing mindset because when you choose to invest in yourself you begin to see that everything you want in life is not as far as it may seem. further it provides you the space to pursue your passions and make moves. this year, 2020, i choose to invest in myself, at first without even really knowing it, by deciding to post weekly blogs. in doing so i increased my yearly website visits by 270% when compared to last year! that is absolutely insane! and it was all because i choose to invested in myself. i invested in my talents, my abilities, and my happiness in order to work towards achieving my dreams and goals. i still have a long way to go, but i know i am learning to believe more and more in myself and the talents that have been given to me.

thank you to my boyfriend for reminding me of this (even unintentionally) as well as always reminding me to pursue my hearts desires. i can not say thank you enough for the love and support you have given. this one is for you (seeing you felt i do not talk about you enough in my blog post lol ) but seriously though i am so blessed by you.

so how are you investing in yourself? your dreams? your goals? your happiness?

“and jesus said to him, “‘if you can! all things are possible for one who believes.” - matthew 9:23

let it go

hello you beautiful people you! happy lent!

since today is the first day of the new lenten season i figured what better way to start than the topic of sacrifice and the many forms it can take. not only will i discuss sacrifice in relation to our goals, but i further discuss the sacrifices we make in regards to relationships and even to ourselves.

when it comes to goals it is safe to say that in order to accomplish them some sacrifices will have to be made. for me this blog alone has come with some sacrifices - the biggest one being time. each week i set aside monday evening to type out the bulk of my blog. it does not stop there though. more time is set aside on Wednesday for revision and uploading and any additional updates to my website involve even more time which mean there are occasions i miss out on other events. having made so much progress in these past weeks has proven that sometimes you have to sacrifice one thing to see outcomes in another. was it worth it? indeed. time is not the only thing i must sacrifice when it comes to my website though. i also sacrifice my privacy and while it may not be as detailed as my home address and social security number having a blog is often quite vulnerable because it is something so personal to your heart. i share quite a bit with you all though because it is powerful being raw and real. i have laid out many things that are not completely easy to admit or talk about, but would i change some of my uncomfortability to keep more to myself??? not at all. how could i when have had people who thank me for sharing those raw moments that helped them throughout a time or simply was a gentle reminder to them? i’m beyond blessed to see god working not only in me to be a better individual, but through me to share his love with others. achieving our goals is no easy task, and they will take a lot of hard work, but we are meant for great things and those goals you have always dreamed of are achievable (that is unless it is completely random like you wanting to become unicorn then i am sorry to say the dream ends here). for real though these goals we have discussed for weeks now are achievable and i hope you go out there and get them; taking the necessary sacrifices to do so.

goals are not the only thing that require sacrifice. all forms of relationships require sacrifices. sometimes these sacrifices may come when we let the other person choose the movie or what activity to partake in for the day. other times it might be a little harder such as apologizing when someone has wronged you. yep, you read correctly apologizing when they have wronged you. that might seem off, but it should all be taken in the matter of context. sacrificing pride of being right is important when maintaining healthy relationships. i mean really think about it are most arguments worth losing a friend or loved one over? most times no. pride does us no good and as Elsa put it just let it go.

i get it though, loving unconditionally as god does is a tough job and especially when it is often easier to see the negative traits in someone. when you stop and find the positive in people it is so much easier to love one another. which brings me to a bible verse i love:

“if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? are not even the tax collectors doing that? and if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? do not even pagans do that? be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” - matthew 5: 46-48

because loving someone is not always easy. we far too often get the idea that love is meant to be an almost carelessly easy thing, but it is far from it. loving someone takes work and is a choice you choose to make everyday. this means, yep, you said it making sacrifices from time to time.

sacrifices also come from within. sometimes we sacrifice our own negative traits, behaviors, and habits that keep us from becoming the individual we were created to be. whether you celebrate lent or not these next 46 days come with sacrificing things that hold you back (and i mean actually hold you back). i remember being in elementary school and thinking oh i’ll give up candy or something silly that i barely ate to begin with. it was not even in the least a problem to myself nor to my relationship with god. every person is not going to share in the same sacrifices. what one person struggles with another might have no problem with. so elementary school me was taking the easy route that required no real work, but that also meant i wasn’t working to better myself or growing closer to god. only recently, as in a couple years ago, did i really start taking lent seriously by working daily on myself. kind of embarrassing, like what kind of catholic am i right? i say this because it is a common misconception about being religious (it goes across the board for all different religions and practices) is that if you are religious you are somehow better than others or you have life figured out more. even some religious people believe this but i want to make it clear that religion and religious people are not, nor ever will be “better.” we are still imperfect human beings, meaning we make mistakes just like everyone else.

2 years ago when i decided to give this lent thing a real go i decided to give up social media because that was something that i allowed myself to waste a lot of time on. i would spend hours aimlessly on my phone whether that was on instagram or Facebook, sometimes even watching random YouTube videos one after the other. during much of my time i would catch myself thinking what really am i looking at, i’m not even interested in it (not that i have boring friends, but that i was bored scrolling seeing what everyone else was up to and not making any progress in the things i wanted to do). not only did a detox from social media help me to procrastinate less, i got my homework done faster, and had more time for friends and relaxing. the beginning felt strange, but before i knew it giving up my social media and the feeling that i always had to keep up to date on what everyone else was up to was completely freeing. after awhile i did not even care what i was missing. life was too good to worry. during that time i even traveled internationally with a friend for the first time. we adventured to Costa Rica and it was probably the best trip i have been on to this day. being off of social media meant i wasn’t hooked to my phone. i mean i still took a lot of photos, but i wasn't concerned with updating my followers/friends on my whereabouts. i was truly so present and it was definitely a time i felt god in my life and saw just how beautiful life is and should feel. 

when we make sacrifices we become closer to god.

religious or not i highly suggest finding something in your life that is holding you back whether that is a social media detox or something else that you struggle with. then take what is stopping you and sacrifice it for 46 days. additionally, i challenge you to add something to your schedule and what more perfect then adding something to help you achieve those goals you already have dreamed of, those goals we talked about at the very beginning of the year. wanting a healthy body and mind? cut out junk food and add 5 minutes of daily reflection before starting each day. do what you gotta do to be the best you! whatever is stopping you, you are fully capable of overcoming. i believe in you and am cheering you on.

four for four

guys! gals! you beautiful people you! this is the 4th week. in a row. that i have posted! and while it might not seem like much because the number four is a rather small number. for example if i were to say, “i have 4 dollars” you wouldn’t be too impressed, but what i speak of has less to do with the number and has everything to do with sticking to goals.

in these past few posts i have discussed with you all about owning the year and making it yours through setting goals and creating the steps to get there. i want to make it clear with you all though that while i am so excited i have managed to stick with it these past four weeks (something that has never happened in the past two years of my website being around - talk about monumental) it was not easy. yes, sticking to one post per week, a rather manageable goal, was still tough. week one - a breeze, week two - the fire was still fueled, and that’s when it hit me, week three. now week three i had already written out an idea of what i wanted to discuss, but because i also had other things going on i knew i needed to get it typed up tuesday or at least the majority. my busy mind, stressed out, started to think well maybe if i don’t get around to it i can always just post it one day late. not bad. i mean i was busy and one day couldn’t and would’t really hurt right?

wrong! i told myself that i was to post once a week, on wednesday. reasonable enough. thing is, earlier in the week i had time that i could have been working on it and simply choose not to, so if i had to pay the price by staying up a bit later i would make a point to do so. no excuses. plus, i couldn’t give up my goal, it was too soon. now i realize there is sure to come a day when matters are really too much, and unexpected things happen to the point where i really will not be able to get it done, but when that day comes i am not going to stress over it because i will have the motivation to get back to it as soon as matters allow. that’s why now i am so focused on building a strong foundation and when things like that happen i can easily jump back to them. right now i am still in the process of breaking some habits, and getting over that initial struggle to creating a better and more consistent routine for my blog. so yes, i am going to face some times where i have to force myself to work through it, but what i am creating for myself will be well worth it.

the book i am currently reading goes hand and hand with this topic. “girl wash your face” by rachel hollis, the book almost every girl posts about on her ig while reading and righteously so because rachel knows whats up, is truly a book that we can all relate to, especially in regards to promises and how it is important we do not break the promises we make to ourselves. she provided the example of a friend who often breaks promises and reminds us how we would not trust an individual who had such habits as easily. yet, we often break promises to ourselves. over and over again we break promises to ourselves. uhhh can someone say relatable. there have been plenty of times i say i want to start doing something, and i never get around to it. even recently i told myself i would try one new lunch and dinner every week as a way to get into cooking. i even wrote it down to make it seem more important, but because the habit of not cooking was there and little to no effort was put into looking up recipes, grocery shopping the items i would need, and actually making and cleaning up (it’s a whole process i tell ya) i never even made it past the first week. what can i say i like eating it more than making it, but i really do want to get better about it. honestly, it’s a bit embarrassing how poor of an effort i put into it thinking back, but it’s so true and we all have been there, at one time or another. why do we do this to ourselves? one word. habits.

habits do not break over night though; they take time, effort, trails, struggles, mini successes, determination, persistence, love, kindness - you gotta be all in. thing is, it’s tough being all in 24/7, seven days a week, in every aspect of your life. all in is physically and mentally draining not to mention there just does not seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything done. that means we won’t always be able to do it all, but we can still be all in, in everything we do. i’ll say that again; we won’t always be able to do it all, but we can still be all in, in everything we do. week three of my blogs, i.e. the one that i had to remind myself to just getter done and not hold off, i had to cut out my workout for the night in order to write it. i had originally planned on working out and typing up a new blog, but because other errands took longer to do it meant something was going to have to give and seeing the blog post needed to be up on wednesday it took priority over working out. i was bummed that i broke the promise of working out to myself. it was a usual workout day and i wanted to have time to do, however, time got away from me, but thank goodness i had already built a fairly good habit when it comes to working out that i knew darn right i would jump right back into it. it was important though that i stuck to working through those struggles with my blog and that i got back to my workout goal like i said i would. so are you holding yourself to your goals or letting habits get in the way of achieving your goals? what is one thing you can do to help you improve achieving your goals? one thing to help you fight those instincts? focus on that this week and celebrate each little milestone you reach because these seemingly little guys are what help form solid, healthy, new habits. four posts in four weeks, check. here’s to four more, and even more after that.

all in.

for the last couple of years i have really leaned into a words and specifically focusing on one for a certain amount of time. now this does not mean i am constantly thinking of the word, nor that the amount of time focusing on it is set amount of time. simply i use the words as a way to remember what i need to improve at and once i feel comfortable and confident portraying and embodying the word do i change it. sometimes you might have a word you focus on for awhile, change it, and come back to it, but it all just depends on what you see fit.

my junior year of college i focused on the word patience. i was constantly thinking ahead, wondering why certain things weren’t happening in my life; like having a boyfriend, or traveling around the world. i was impatient with the process and wanted to jump straight into things such as a life being able to shoot pictures around the world - funny enough i was not actually doing the work it took to get there. no wonder why i still have yet to achieve said goal. despite knowing that my time would come i was still in a hurry comparing myself to other peoples journeys. that year i ended up purchasing a bible verse photograph for over my bed that read, “he has made everything beautiful in its time” - ecclesiastes 3:11 thus it became a reminder that there was a time and place for everything and my only job was to be patient and trust in the process.

then my senior year of college i focused on the word faith. senior year was a roller coaster of emotions. the first half went smooth, but the final semester a lot happened and it was a season that although i made the best of it (in such that i really honed in on my relationship with god) was a really rough time. many nights were spent in tears questioning myself and feeling alone. i struggled, but most importantly i grew and i will always be thankful for that.

which gets me to this year, 2020. really it still shocks me that it is already the new year. this past week while writing a letter to a special someone i came to the realization that i have been holding back. holding back in my relationships, as well as in regards to my goals, hobbies, work, and health, even holding back in my faith. now there are probably a lot of reason for this, some that i will continue to discover, but having sat with this realization i have come to name a few. i think two of the biggest reasons we as humans tend to hold back in anything we do is the fear of failure or rejection (2 things that i have greatly worked at over the years and continue to work at). being a perfectionist in my work has meant that i have struggled with failure if projects do not turn out exactly as i want them to be. as for fear of rejection growing up shy i tended to lack confidence. thing is i don’t want to be just half in, you miss out on too much. instead i want to be immersed in the things i do because while it’s still fun to wade in the water it’s more fun running and jumping in (well unless you have not learned to swim then that could be a problem) or hiking - what fun is it if you spend time hiking, but turn around right before you reach the spectacular view at the top?

with this new realization and the new year having just rolled in i thought to myself what can i focus on? what will help me make this year even better than the last? now my passions were not at a complete loss and motivation was there just not at the full force that it could well be at. in short i was being lazy to a degree. so i decided to focus on being all in.

i love it.

all in.

all in, no matter what i am doing. meaning that i would work hard in all areas of my life; always giving it 110 percent; whatever that might look like for the given day because we know as humans we are not always going to have good days and it’s okay if some days we get nothing done and others we are absolute all stars being super productive. additionally, like i discussed in my previous blog post, not letting myself get consumed in the bigger picture or goal, but simply breaking it down step by step and staying focused to accomplish those tasks would help me continue to make progress towards my goals.

when it all comes down to it though it is really about enjoying the process as cliché as that sounds. my friends, the process is so important though. it’s where we get to live, the time and space we get to enjoy. see we can not enjoy the future. sure we can look forward to it, but if we never slow down and focus on the present we will have wasted so much time and i don’t know about you, but i am tired of wasted time. i’m ready to get to work, ready to be present, and ready to be all in. are you?

2020 vision

it’s a new day, it’s a new dawn, and well look at that it’s a new year! how is it already 2020 you beautiful people?! i honestly have no clue how the past year went by so fast, but like always i am so very excited to see what is in store for this year!

that said, if you know me you are sure to know that this post is definitely not about my actual vision because i have pretty poor eyesight to say the least. about three years ago when i was getting my eyes checked in hawaii the ophthalmologist told me that my eyesight was worse then the average adult. imagine being told that at 20 years old!! cool doc, love that, i’ll be blind by thirty. literally one of my biggest fears, but we will save that topic for another time.

today i wanted to discuss new years resolutions with you all and how they are both helpful and hurtful to you and your year to come. resolutions are always good because they are a list of all the good things in life that we desire to achieve. whether that is working out more, eating healthy, not procrastinating, etc. they are all things that can improve the quality of your life and help you achieve so much. sadly though these goals are hard and most people don’t even stick to them for the first month. there have been studies done that prove that. from there it is easy to get caught back in old habits and next thing you know you keep telling yourself that it is too late and that maybe next year you will get better at it. the next new year comes and the one after that too and still nothing has changed. the thing is if you are not willing to get up and start making changes now you will not be in the new year. how badly do you want to see your new years resolutions in action? as a success?

new year resolutions are good, in the sense they give us an idea of what we want, but when we make them we have to think how can we achieve them and then make a plan to carry out. otherwise, our new year resolutions set us up for failure in sort - simply because they are more often than not huge changes or big accomplishments that take time and lots of it to see a difference. thus, it is important to create easy steps that are obtainable. you want to workout more? start by signing up for a class or gym membership. easy. step one done. build on and up, and that applies to any goal you want to achieve. next, when you start to slack off remember THAT IS OKAY. we are humans, imperfectly perfect beings who are going to mess up from time to time. let us try our best not let that stop us from getting back on track. refocus. i mean if you are driving somewhere and get lost do you ever just continue to stay lost? NO! or at least i know i sure don’t. instead you get back on the right track no matter how many wrong turns it takes to get you there. same should be with goals, we should never just give up because we get a bit off track. life is not perfect and nor will the path towards our goals be but i can promise you they will be worth it.

i started this website 2 years ago! my first year i was testing the waters and my second year (2019) i thought would be so much better. i thought i would be posting every two weeks and that my numbers would increase. some months were great where numbers exceeded the year before and other months i did not even write at all. i never let those down times stop me from coming back to it though. this website is my baby, my place to share all the lessons i have learned, my travels, my creative side, even to just be silly. i was still bummed though when i found out the amount of visits my website had in the second year was less then what i had in the first year. it felt like there was no improvement, but when i took the time to look there had been plenty of improvements made, they just weren’t the ones that i had imagined. so maybe i did not reach my original goal because i definitely did not make enough obtainable steps, nor did i stick to the ones i made to help me get there, but i did learn a lot and i did make some progress, even though it was not to the degree i hoped.

so here i am, continuing to trudge along on this path although not completely clear where i am going, i know that no matter what i will continue to pursue the best for myself, and for the glory of his name.

the key is persistence.

the key is determination.

the key is self love.

here is to 2020 my loves. let’s make it the best one yet!

“for the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline” - 2 timothy 1