love in action

i’ll be honest with you all - i completely forgot about posting tonight until about 6pm. so here i am last minute hoping by the grace of god i will be able to come up with something good.

anything good.

anything at all?

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currently, it has been at least a half hour, maybe longer where i have been aimlessly trying to put words together and i have nothing to show for it. i typed some and back spaced more, but nothing seems to be working. 47 posts, and 48 if you count this one, that i have completed. that is a lot of writing, a lot of topics, no wonder why i am stumped. my mind, however, is happy for the long weekend and thinking about thanksgiving i think about giving thanks. a pretty typical thing to do this time of the year, but hear me out on this one! i promise there is more to it.

every thanksgiving we think and share what we are thankful for which i love don’t get me wrong, but that is the easy part. i am thankful for a lot, but how do i show my thanks? showing our thanks for something or someone is a lot harder and easily forgotten. being thankful and grateful are beautiful things, of course, but let us all try to take it one more step farther by putting our thankfulness into action.

this past sunday at mass our priest shared a story about three different people who witnessed a car accident during the homily. in the story a knight of columbus passes the accident and due to the icy road condition decides to pray instead. a father also drives by but on the other side of the road and noticing the heavy downpour decides to say a prayer. a third person, a teenager, drives by, stops, helps the person out of their car, gives them the jacket they were wearing to stay warm and dry, calls 911, and reassures them they will be okay until help comes.

similar to this past sunday’s mass where father discussed putting prayer into action, so is true when it comes to thankfulness. why? because we are called for more. called to not only be good, but to do good. called to take action and share in the love he brings. called to be his hands and feet. so while both thankfulness, gratitude, and prayer are beautiful and necessary things please do not forget to do something about it.

what are some ways you can put your thankfulness, gratitude, and prayer into action this week? Ponder this for a bit and then i encourage you to do at least one of them. happy thanksgiving you beautiful people you.

“then the king will say to those on his right, ‘come, you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. for i was hungry and you gave me something to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, i was a stranger and you invited me in, i needed clothes and you clothed me, i was sick and you looked after me, i was in prison and you came to visit me.” “then the righteous will answer him, ‘lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? when did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?” when did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’“the king will reply, ‘truly i tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’“then he will say to those on his left, ‘depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for i was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, i was a stranger and you did not invite me in, i needed clothes and you did not clothe me, i was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’“they also will answer, ‘lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “he will reply, ‘truly i tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ - matthew 25:34-45

honey, sunshine, and you

i decided to try a lil something different for this week to actually keep the blog short and sweet since my previous blog ended up being longer than intended. this week i figured i would have another go at poetry. back in elementary i loved writing poetry. it was my favorite way to write and i remember sitting with a pencil in hand and my colorful paged notebook jotting poem after poem. unfortunately it has been quite awhile since i have sat down to write a poem so here it goes.

honey, sunshine, and you

she learned that the storm is beautiful

that the rain waters the wounds

and that like flowers she too is bound to bloom

thus she dances in it

sweetened by honey that pour through her veins

she is painted yellow

as if the sun beams from her bones

and you,

you still find a way to brighten her,

to set her soul on fire

you.

you are the moon,

the balance in the atmosphere she needs.

a.l

let it go

hello you beautiful people you! happy lent!

since today is the first day of the new lenten season i figured what better way to start than the topic of sacrifice and the many forms it can take. not only will i discuss sacrifice in relation to our goals, but i further discuss the sacrifices we make in regards to relationships and even to ourselves.

when it comes to goals it is safe to say that in order to accomplish them some sacrifices will have to be made. for me this blog alone has come with some sacrifices - the biggest one being time. each week i set aside monday evening to type out the bulk of my blog. it does not stop there though. more time is set aside on Wednesday for revision and uploading and any additional updates to my website involve even more time which mean there are occasions i miss out on other events. having made so much progress in these past weeks has proven that sometimes you have to sacrifice one thing to see outcomes in another. was it worth it? indeed. time is not the only thing i must sacrifice when it comes to my website though. i also sacrifice my privacy and while it may not be as detailed as my home address and social security number having a blog is often quite vulnerable because it is something so personal to your heart. i share quite a bit with you all though because it is powerful being raw and real. i have laid out many things that are not completely easy to admit or talk about, but would i change some of my uncomfortability to keep more to myself??? not at all. how could i when have had people who thank me for sharing those raw moments that helped them throughout a time or simply was a gentle reminder to them? i’m beyond blessed to see god working not only in me to be a better individual, but through me to share his love with others. achieving our goals is no easy task, and they will take a lot of hard work, but we are meant for great things and those goals you have always dreamed of are achievable (that is unless it is completely random like you wanting to become unicorn then i am sorry to say the dream ends here). for real though these goals we have discussed for weeks now are achievable and i hope you go out there and get them; taking the necessary sacrifices to do so.

goals are not the only thing that require sacrifice. all forms of relationships require sacrifices. sometimes these sacrifices may come when we let the other person choose the movie or what activity to partake in for the day. other times it might be a little harder such as apologizing when someone has wronged you. yep, you read correctly apologizing when they have wronged you. that might seem off, but it should all be taken in the matter of context. sacrificing pride of being right is important when maintaining healthy relationships. i mean really think about it are most arguments worth losing a friend or loved one over? most times no. pride does us no good and as Elsa put it just let it go.

i get it though, loving unconditionally as god does is a tough job and especially when it is often easier to see the negative traits in someone. when you stop and find the positive in people it is so much easier to love one another. which brings me to a bible verse i love:

“if you love those who love you, what reward will you get? are not even the tax collectors doing that? and if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? do not even pagans do that? be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” - matthew 5: 46-48

because loving someone is not always easy. we far too often get the idea that love is meant to be an almost carelessly easy thing, but it is far from it. loving someone takes work and is a choice you choose to make everyday. this means, yep, you said it making sacrifices from time to time.

sacrifices also come from within. sometimes we sacrifice our own negative traits, behaviors, and habits that keep us from becoming the individual we were created to be. whether you celebrate lent or not these next 46 days come with sacrificing things that hold you back (and i mean actually hold you back). i remember being in elementary school and thinking oh i’ll give up candy or something silly that i barely ate to begin with. it was not even in the least a problem to myself nor to my relationship with god. every person is not going to share in the same sacrifices. what one person struggles with another might have no problem with. so elementary school me was taking the easy route that required no real work, but that also meant i wasn’t working to better myself or growing closer to god. only recently, as in a couple years ago, did i really start taking lent seriously by working daily on myself. kind of embarrassing, like what kind of catholic am i right? i say this because it is a common misconception about being religious (it goes across the board for all different religions and practices) is that if you are religious you are somehow better than others or you have life figured out more. even some religious people believe this but i want to make it clear that religion and religious people are not, nor ever will be “better.” we are still imperfect human beings, meaning we make mistakes just like everyone else.

2 years ago when i decided to give this lent thing a real go i decided to give up social media because that was something that i allowed myself to waste a lot of time on. i would spend hours aimlessly on my phone whether that was on instagram or Facebook, sometimes even watching random YouTube videos one after the other. during much of my time i would catch myself thinking what really am i looking at, i’m not even interested in it (not that i have boring friends, but that i was bored scrolling seeing what everyone else was up to and not making any progress in the things i wanted to do). not only did a detox from social media help me to procrastinate less, i got my homework done faster, and had more time for friends and relaxing. the beginning felt strange, but before i knew it giving up my social media and the feeling that i always had to keep up to date on what everyone else was up to was completely freeing. after awhile i did not even care what i was missing. life was too good to worry. during that time i even traveled internationally with a friend for the first time. we adventured to Costa Rica and it was probably the best trip i have been on to this day. being off of social media meant i wasn’t hooked to my phone. i mean i still took a lot of photos, but i wasn't concerned with updating my followers/friends on my whereabouts. i was truly so present and it was definitely a time i felt god in my life and saw just how beautiful life is and should feel. 

when we make sacrifices we become closer to god.

religious or not i highly suggest finding something in your life that is holding you back whether that is a social media detox or something else that you struggle with. then take what is stopping you and sacrifice it for 46 days. additionally, i challenge you to add something to your schedule and what more perfect then adding something to help you achieve those goals you already have dreamed of, those goals we talked about at the very beginning of the year. wanting a healthy body and mind? cut out junk food and add 5 minutes of daily reflection before starting each day. do what you gotta do to be the best you! whatever is stopping you, you are fully capable of overcoming. i believe in you and am cheering you on.

recipe for love

in the spirit of Valentine's day i figured we could divert a little from the previous topic of goals to discuss relationships. to your surprise though i am not focusing on romantic relationships. instead, i want to focus on the relationship we have with ourselves. i know it sounds silly, but please hear me out. all of our relationships stem from not only what we have been taught, but also reflect how we see ourselves as individuals and our relationship we have with ourselves.

imagine an elementary school girl. she was shy. she depended too much on others for her happiness and never really felt that she was enough whether that was in her school work, how she fit in with her peers, and in her looks. she didn't like her stomach (she wanted abs), she didn't like her smile (which she loves now),  she didn't feel super pretty because guys just weren't interested in her, and her neck (oh gosh she is still working on that one).. let's just say she wasn't very confident. she was self conscious and very hard on herself when it came to just about anything. that girl, that was me. that unconfident girl was me, and sometimes still is.

looking back there were even times in high school where the things i did were because my friends did them. now they weren’t bad things, but they were also not my own interests. instead of really seeing what classes i myself might be interested in, i took classes that i knew some of my friends would be in. to my advantage it thankfully all worked out because i really was not sure of what i wanted to do in the future anyway. the classes i took ended up showing me what interested me and what did not. plus, i had my friends which meant i at least wouldn’t be doing them alone. there was so much i learned in those classes that i wouldn’t have learned otherwise and they challenged me to be a better and harder working student but i just wonder what if i had chosen what interested me more than just flowing along with the rest of the group?

college was no easier. i mean i barely stepped foot into the gym my freshman year because i figured people would judge me for not being in shape and i just worried too much about what other people would think of me.

you’re probably wondering why i even mention this, and i am so happy you ask because i really do believe that at one time or another we all are that unconfident kid looking for a way to simply fit in or make it by. you beautiful people, we are called to live so much greater lives than this though, so much more than degrading the individuals we were created and called to be. not to mention when we don’t see ourselves with loving eyes it’s so much easier to do the same to others. i myself did exactly that growing up. i allowed my insecurities, my stresses, my fears have control with the way i interacted to people. i was quick to anger and easily frustrated, but we do not have to live in such a way if we so choose. when we seek the positive of ourselves we bring that to our other relationships.

so where do we start? how do we become the confident people we are supposed to be? well… to that i say: date yourself. seriously, date yourself whether you are single or in a relationship practice dating yourself. sit with yourself and i mean really sit with yourself. listen to where your mind wanders? how are you feeling physically? mentally? emotionally? are you relaxed? or overwhelmed? do you feel angry? sad? happy? joyful? excited? are you where do you want to be? recount your day. when was the last time you cried? when was the laughed so much you thought you were going to pee yourself? ask yourself questions, uncover the things that excite you and the things that make you fearful. continuously work to create the best version of yourself. it doesn’t even have to be so strenuous by having to think deeply, but maybe it is just going to a local coffee shop to sit and people watch or going to the movie alone. find peace in the comfort of yourself because when you learn to love yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally you are able to give someone else that same kind of selfless love. also when you love your self more you are able to better recognize when the love you receive is healthy and meant to last. think of it as a recipe; there are so many factors to what creates the yummy and delicious treat. same is true when it comes to love; love is patient, kind, does not envy or boost, etc, etc, etc. but even so there always seems to be that one special ingredient, that key element, and that is what self love is. it is the key to all other healthy loving relationships.

it took me a long time to get to where i am now (a more self loving and confident daughter of god) and while i am a lot more confident in the women i am becoming i still have plenty of days when i feel far from it. that is important to note because we should never think of self love as being an end product. self love is a journey NOT a destination. bad days and good days will come but when we learn to love ourselves, loving others becomes easier.

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also on another note a couple years back i filmed a YouTube video for Valentine’s day. here is the link if you want a good laugh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQJfQXaoKRc (i can not believe i am sharing this, but heck with it, why not - and please no judgement or rude comments this was 5 years ago, i was bored, and being silly. positive vibes only zone).