have you ever been stuck between what you feel like you need to do and what you want to do?

having been out of school for a year now i started thinking about what getting my masters would look like. what masters program would i apply for? what school would i go to? would i go to school on campus, thus moving? would i take courses online? how much would it cost? etc. etc. while there is so much about it that i would enjoy and would bring me closer to a job that not only would pay well but is one of interest i have struggled to actually go for it. not because i don’t see the fact that so much good could come from it, but because my heart yearns for something else. it yearns for the lesser traveled route. the one of uncertainty and often gets the cold shoulder from our fellow relatives or at least that is how my relatives are.

society tells us one thing. reality on the other hand tells us another.

as we grow up we learn this idea life works as a one way course. we are taught we are to go to college, get a job, get married, get a house, have a family, retire, etc etc. life is not this straightforward though and i loved this analogy i read about in school.

careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder. as sharyl sandberg wrote in the book lean in, “ladders are limiting - people can move up or down, on or off. jungle gyms offer more creative exploration. there's only one way to get to the top of a ladder, but there are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym. the jungle gym model benefits everyone, but especially women who might be starting careers, switching careers, getting blocked by external barriers, or reentering the workforce after taking time off. the ability to forge a unique path with occasional dips, detours, and even dead ends presents a better chance for fulfillment. plus, a jungle gym provides great views for many people, not just those at the top.” i love that.

life is not a one way fits all. there are so many paths to being successful.

these lies, however, so prominent in our minds, often leave us to be cautious and leery to seek this lesser traveled road. the path can be scary and lonely because it is not as supported. it’s not comforting because it is unknown. even today a family member whom i dearly love told me yet again that i really should get my masters degree. a lovely gesture, my best interests are in their heart, but as much as one day i can imagine getting my masters degree that’s not the course i feel my life is being drawn at this time. life is meant to be peaceful and we shouldn’t have to feel pulled and pressured by society, our families, or our friends.

finding peace is tough. i know personally i get easily stressed, over worked, and anxious about a lot of things. it’s not something i am proud of, but it is the truth. having space to find peace is something i have really taken into thought these past few months and despite covid getting in the way of some fun and exciting plans i had it was honestly a wake up call for me to learn how to slow down. it is as if god was telling me it was time to find peace.

as i sit here working on wedding photos and being inspired by a thought to write this post i think to myself this is what i want to be doing. i want more time for this. i don’t want to work at a job i have to show up at a certain time, 5 days a week, for the rest of my life. no, i want to be my own boss. i want to capture beautiful moments. i want to travel. i want to be able to wake up and go for a run along the beach and come home to back a tasty açaí bowl. what i am doing now is not where i want to be it now but the growth over this past year has proven that while it would not be easy it is possible to grow even more in it, and that those dreams of mine are feasible too.

i guess i just want you to remember that there are so many ways to be successful in life. maybe getting two masters is your area. more power to ya! but maybe just maybe the lesser know path is the course you are called to take. maybe you want to start up your own little bakery. that is awesome! i am here for it all! whatever it is, go for it! it should be yours and only yours. do it for you. seriously. this is one of those times where it is okay to be a little selfish; you know you, you know your strengths and limits; use them wisely.

we have been told we can’t have it all

but we can

maybe not all at once, but its our life, our story,

and it is up to us

and how bad we want it

you want it? get it.

i am here for you, i am cheering you on, and i want you to be living the life you have always dreamed of.