scrolling through my phone a couple days ago i came across pictures and videos of my fellow classmates whom a year younger were celebrating what would have been their graduation ceremony day. proud of their accomplishments it made me think back to my own experiences at saint martins university and i’m not going to lie it got me a bit emotional. how has it already been a full year since graduating with a bachelors in psychology and two minors; one in sociology and another in gender & identity studies? life really is this crazy beautiful and even messy thing we have the blessing of experiencing and as i take some time to reflect on this chapter in my life i think how much each season has shaped me into the women i am today. if you were to have asked me 5 years ago about attending saint martin’s university i would have said absolutely not. what i did not know was that saint martins university, although a series of ups and downs would become such a huge part of who i am.

the summer of 2014, me and my mother that stopped by campus on a surprisingly hot day after having already road tripped to many other places. this was one of our last stops and just thinking about picking a school/moving away from home was overwhelming. i did not even let the idea that SMU could be a possibility settle in my mind. in that short visit i had made it clear to myself that i would not be attending saint martins university. it was an absolute no for me. i thought it was too small and felt there was no way it would work. that was the end of it, or so i thought.

then came my senior year (2014-2015). i remember being stressed about choosing a school so much so that i put the least amount of effort into finding one i wanted to or at least thought i would want to attend. i did not apply to many schools, but SMU happened to be one (for my mothers sake anyway). having only applied to a few schools i did not have many options, so i decided what the heck lets give SMU a shot with the idea in my mind that if i did not like it i could always transfer. it was away from home, but close enough, as well as it was also relatively close to some family and family friends. i had attended an orientation in the summer and the next thing i knew my mother and i were packing my things up to head off to my freshman year of college.

when i got there so much changed..

i made friends; true, ride or die, life long friends.

i continued to grow outside of my comfort zone.

i enjoyed my classes and teachers.

i picked a route to take in my education (this took two years alone to figure out!)

i loved the new things i was experiencing; magic shows, pumpkin patches, concerts, etc.

overall, i thrived and rarely did i miss home.

and with that i decided that god had placed me exactly where i was meant to be.. so much i spent the next four years attending school there. lacey, washington became my home away from home and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

i’m not saying that you shouldn’t be more prepared and try harder to find your school or place in life, but i really do think that all things end up working out no matter how long or stressful they may be. thus, it is important that you make the best of the seasons while you are in them. it is not always that you will be able to live so close to all of your best friends, go on random late night donut or food runs, attend countless fun events for free, etc. enjoy the late night study seshes with your classmates, laughing at the most random things while you feel you are going crazy from what feel like the billionth essay you wrote. wear what you want and get involved in everything and anything because you won’t always be able to do so. if that’s not you that’s okay too, but live that good life. it goes for those out of school too. make the seemingly ordinary things fun. who says grocery shopping and laundry have to be boring. with the right mindset and people i can think of countless fun shopping trips. was it all perfect? not in the least. there were so many nights with ugly crying and mental breakdowns, and times of loneliness, and stress, but there were so many more beautiful memories and laughs that it makes me cry just thinking that these memories will never happen again or at least like before. they are happy tears, not sad tears, because i am so blessed to have even experienced them. i love them, but i am so happy with where i am at in life now. i truly feel i am exactly where I am meant to be and i look forward to all that is yet to come in my life. my college chapter was one of my favorites, but the memories that are to come are going to be even better, i can feel it.

why mention all this though?

because it matters. not only are these seasons apart of what make us who we are but because time matters. how we use it and what we do with it matters. does that mean we can’t have lazy days? not at all, but when it comes down to the end of the days don’t you want to be able to say, “i lived it to the fullest.” maybe one day the fullest and most joyful way to spend my day is going on a fun adventure, and maybe the next is simply having a chill day at home reading a book cuddled up next to my boyfriend with my favorite candle lit. whatever it is i want my time to always be time well spent - which i think goes well with the situation we are in now. quarantine is not the place where i feel the majority if not all people want to be. it can be restricting and isolating and honestly life altering for a lot of people, but i love seeing all of the wonderful things that it has brought to our community and communities all around; while high-school and college seniors have not been able to have a formal graduation people have found ways to still celebrate and recognize their hard work, people are reaching out more to small and local business to show their support, businesses are putting peoples health as a priority, people are being more self aware of oneself and their affect on others, and the list goes on.

whether we love or despise certain seasons in our life they each help us and teach us in some way, shape, or form and when we are present, seeking to make the most of our circumstances, we are bound to see beautiful things. the important thing is presence. it doesn’t have to be perfect we just have to be there. truly and utterly present.

same for our goals. even as i write this blog post i know it is not my best or favorite blog post by far, but i am here. i showed up to create and pursue the dream. making time to i post when i rather be watching the next episode of love is blind of netflix or reading my book while snacking on some yogurt with frozen mangoes. time is of the essence. time is one of the most valuable things you possess. so what are you doing with your time? are you proud with the way spending it? are you making the best of your circumstances? most importantly are you truly happy?

remember it is your life. your story. you are the author. you can change it; edit any part that isn’t helping you reach your purpose. write one that you will love and be proud of.