let’s talk a bit about emotions. these bad boys are powerful and sometimes it takes just about all our energy not to let them get the best of us. now this is especially true when people all of a sudden, out of what feels like nowhere, get upset with us. a typical reaction usually involves some defensive responses and getting upset, annoyed, or a mix of the two. i know for a fact i am personally guilty of this from time to time because it is such an easy response, but it is so important that we learn to control such feelings and not take things so personal.

now defensive behavior is natural for us as it is a way we try to protect ourselves; it’s a form of survival. the question then is what are we trying to protect ourselves from when a huge proportion of arguments start with one person releasing their own negative energy towards someone who really has no or little connection to the problem? (this is something we will further discuss at a later date) but what we see is that we often are creating our own battles when there was never really one to begin with.

early this week i experienced a similar situation as the ones i am referring to. i was on the phone with a friend when all of a sudden they got upset with me and told me they were going to hang up. i immediately said their name and then afterwards said reeeaalllly? i noticed my first reaction was one of annoyance. why where they being so rude when all i was trying to do was simply suggest something to them in hopes to help their dilemma? easy. when you are frustrated just about every little thing becomes annoying and for no real particular reason, other than it just is. you tend to say things you don’t really mean and/or they come out more harsh then intended, and stubbornness (oh you already know it). thing is when we are upset we usually are not in the right mindset, not thinking the most positive, nor are we truly taking into consideration our words and actions like we should. thus, when others get upset with us we have to stop to remember how it feels to be upset. we must take caution with our own actions to help our fellow brothers and sisters because we might not always see the root of the problem (more than not we won’t) but it is important we understand that there is always more to the situation just as we would want others to be understanding and patient with us when we are upset. sure harsh feelings are taken out on innocent individuals, but after taking a few seconds to evaluate the situation and focus on why the individual is upset one can further show care and concern for where they are at, be patient, and offer help where capable, just as i had done with my friend over the phone. trust me both people feel so much better when situations are handled with love, compassion, and kindness. in no way though do i want this to come across as a bragging moment - sure i was quite proud of myself for how i was able to handle the situation, but i definitely do not always respond in such a way. i have been that friend responding out of pure frustration; plenty of times too. just as there have been plenty of times were i let my emotions get the best of me and spoken too soon, as well as have made a small situation into a bigger deal just as i am sure you have too. why i mention this story though is because it made me realize that, as i had mentioned in my last blog post, focusing on a single word really did help. the word i leaned on junior year was patience. i was terrible at patience for the absolute longest time, but in that situation i was so calm and accepting. further, i noticed that even in other situations happening in my life i was handling with a more open mind. simply, i was not taking it so personal. talk about full circle.

now not taking things personal is easier said than done am i right? it is possible though and especially when you focus on understanding that everything is not always about you. sometimes people are going to get mad at you; most times though it really has nothing to do with you. so please my loves do not take everything so personal. brush it off. lend a hand, an ear, show some compassion and be patient. we are all going through our own battles, lets help build each other up.

“praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” - 2 corinthians 1:3-4