sunday night my boyfriend and i watched a sad movie. not a kind of or a little sad movie. no, it was a based on true events cry until sniffles and snot come and then just when you think you are done crying you cry some more. only me? truly, when i tell you i get into movies i really get into them - to the point i imagine if that were me. what was more touching though was the fact that it was a faith based movie, and that despite all of the horrible tragic happenings the two main people experienced they remained strong in their faith. it was beautiful and moving and something i have yearned to have lately; unwavering faith.

now i don’t mean to say i have not had any faith recently. faith has always been apart of my life just as having a relationship with god. the journey, however, is not perfect (not that it ever is) and the past couple months it has been something i have really struggled with. my relationship with god has felt strained and distant. unsure how to fill in that gap, to bring it back to what it once was and to continue growing closer to him, i cried and cried some more, until i reminded myself that even though it has been a struggle lately i too still believe.

i still believe in a greater purpose even when i don’t understand.

i still believe in a faithful god who loves and cares for me with my best intentions at heart.

i still believe that i am a worthy of good things, people, places, and experiences.

i still believe that the good always outweighs the bad.

i still believe that everything we go through helps us grow.

i still believe that god has a beautiful plan for us all.

this season has not been what i had expected or hoped for, as there have been a lot of challenges, but if i have learned one thing it is that i still believe. no matter what life tries to throw my way i will not be shaken. it may have taken a night full of tears to really lay out that i needed that connection with god again to strengthen my faith, but this morning on my way to work though i noticed a greater sense of joy and i felt part of what seemed to be missing; that connection. funny enough, i don’t think that connection or faith ever really left - it was just crowded. my relationship with god had stood at a stand still because the fears and uncertainties blocked my view of him. once i began to lay those fears and uncertainties down at his feet did i once again feel that connection. i am still building that connection again, always will, and it is such a beautiful beautiful thing. if you are like me and have been struggling in this season this is your reminder that you are not alone. he is always right there, patiently waiting for you to give him all of the things that hold you back and that aren’t part of his plan. he is here and his plans are so much greater than what we can imagine.

he is with you:

“be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the lord your god is with you wherever you go.” - joshua 1:9

and he has a plan for you:

“for i know the plans i have for you," declares the lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - jeremiah 29:11